Separations

When I really sit and think about it, the only friends I talk to on a regular basis are Zoran and Bogdan. Now that Luna is out of the picture for now, I really don't have anyone else. Emmarie only sees me as a "school friend" so talking to her is a rare thing. I haven't even seen Irina since May. I don't consider Sonia a friend anymore because I know she doesn't consider me one. It's odd. In this past month alone, there have been so many changes in my circle of friends. In one swift notion, all has been revealed. I feel like I'm drifting away from them.

I'm not worried though. After all, I am used to being the lone wolf always fighting battles alone. If they remember me, they'll come to me. As for Luna, who knows what will happen with that.

At It Again

Dang! I bunned with the guys last night. Haha. Well, the two month period was good while it lasted. Oh well. This was just a one-time thing, especially with all that's been happening to me these past few weeks. It's always a blast hanging out with those two. Zoran seems to be moving on from his incident quite well. I'm happy for him.

The Good Times

You know, it's weird. I don't even feel depressed over what happened between me and Luna. Normally, I'd be really down about it and dwell on the topic. Instead, I find myself smiling and not giving it much thought. Why is that? Am I a Heartless for not thinking about this? No...I don't think so. I think that this incident is still there in my heart, but I choose to think about the good times. Me and Luna shared a lot of good times together and we had our share of laughs. I will always remember us as siblings who would go out and have fun. We would always be there for each other and always listen to what we each had to say. We helped each other during our darkest of times and always came out with a smile. I'll always remember her vibrant smile and attitude.

I will try not to be sad about this whole thing. It's probably for the best that I stay out of her life. Who knows...maybe our paths will cross again someday. Maybe we can re-establish that sibling relationship again. I won't get my hopes up, but I feel that the possibility is still there. Until then, I'll hold on to the memories of the good times.

Messed Up

I completely messed things up this time. Now, it seems like it's over between me and Luna. I won't go into details, but let's just say that it ended up hurting her. I can't believe it. Just yesterday during the day we had one of the best outings and last night everything just went upside down. I can't believe myself. Honestly, I can't. I guess things just won't ever be the same again...

Midterm Frenzy

I finished my midterms finally! I had three in the span of a week. What torture! At least it've all over now and I can sort of relax for a while until December. Man, I hope I do well on them all. I studied as much as I could!

Bored

I am so tired of playing DotA. I know that is what Zoran, Bogdan, and I have been playing for over a year now. It was all cool at first but now it's just so repetitive. In fact, a lot of stuff we do now is pretty repetitive. In fact, a lot of stuff we do has become so routine. I know that the best fun is with friends, but would it hurt to try something new?

If only I got to chill with all my friends often enough. Other than the Mans on Board, I only really get to see Luna often. I hardly see Emm, Irina, and others. They're all too busy or with other friends. What a bore. This is why having a girlfriend is so convenient!

Received

Wow! I never thought the letter to Emm would reach so quickly. As I thought, she was shocked that I bought her the gift card! Well, I'm glad she's happy. She called me " 'good' friend from school." I wonder why she'd put quotations over the "good." Maybe she has troubles calling me a "good friend" after all. Well, it's okay. I've accepted my role. I won't be depressed over it. I can only hope that one day I'll fit in that category.

Argh!!! I still have a Business Law midterm to do in a few hours! Then I have to stay up super late again to do a Finance assignment! I really need to learn time management!!

Gift

I mailed Emm a letter. It's a birthday card along with a $100 gift card from Marciano. It's some female clothing store she told me about some time ago. I know she'll be upset that I went out of my way, but hey it's her birthday so I have to. Even if I'm just a "school friend" to her, to me, she's a best friend. I mailed it now so hopefully it will reach her by Monday.

But I can't think about this too much. I have to stay up late and study for my Business Law midterm! Ahhhh! Will I have to do an all-nighter?

Bad Incident

So I've been talking to Kat for the past couple of days now. I've got to learn quite a bit about her, which is good. She goes to the same university as me and Luna so at least I can have the opportunity to see her more often.

I saw a few old pics of her from three years ago. It was her with Luna and Louville, happy as can be. I asked her about the "incident" and why she is not close to them anymore and she told me. It was no different than Luna's version so at least there's consistency. I feel bad. I mean, she knows she's wrong for what she did and all but still...that was a few years ago. Don't people forgive and forget? It's bothersome because they all live under the same roof. They do talk to each other, but not as closely as before. I don't know how I would be able to survive in such an environment.

If only there was something I could do to unite the three again. Heh. Maybe I'm thinking too hard about this. After all, it's none of my business, right?

The Other Girl

As I have mentioned, there's another girl who lives at Luna's house. She's an exchange student from Japan, which is interesting because her ethnicity is Filipino. Her name is Kathleen, or Kat for short. I've "met" her twice, as in I briefly saw her at Luna's house. She stays in her room for the most part. I've never seen the three together at the same time. Odd. She's lived there for about three years now. Is there something I don't know?

I asked Luna about it and she said they were all close until some incident happened about a year or two ago with changed things. What was the incident? You know what? I'm going to message Kat on Facebook and say "hi." I won't bring up the incident yet. I'll just do casual talk for now.

Siblings

I've been spending a lot of time with Luna recently. I don't know why. Maybe because our bond has become so much closer? We tell each other everything. She sees me as a big brother figure. I've been an only child my whole life. I don't know if I can do this! Still, I feel so touched that I finally have a younger sister. It's touching because I always think about how I was supposed to have a sister, but she died while still inside my mother. Now I have Luna. Maybe this is a blessing from God?

I care about Luna a great deal. Such a sweet girl. She's been through some rough times these past few months, especially with that ex of hers. I've been there as much as possible for her because I know she needs that. Still, she manages to keep a smile on her face and carry on. I'm happy she has that strength!

I also got to meet her older sister, Louville. She's also nice! They say I've been adopted into their family. Funny! Still...there's one more girl who lives in that household, and I want to learn more about her.

Sore!

I AM SO SORE! Yesterday, I had a workout with a personal trainer from Extreme Fitness. He pushed me to limits and beyond and now I can barely walk! From head to toe I'm in so much pain!! "No pain, no gain?" I see what they mean!!! OW!

Break Up

Zoran and Tijana broke up today apparently. I can't believe this! They had three good years and yet now it's all over. I don't know all the details yet, but I'm sure it can't be good. What happened? First Luna's break up and now this! I hope he's okay.

"School Friend"

So it's Thanksgiving Day and I spent most of it with Luna. We went out for lunch and I went to her house afterwards. During this time, however, I got into a little bit of an argument with Emm.

Still a bit upset over how at times I feel that she tends to forget about me despite all we've been through, we got to talking about that subject again through text messages. Then she said something that totally threw me off. She said that we were "just school friends." I couldn't believe what she just said. Honestly, after all I've done for her. After all she's done for me. She doesn't even consider me a "good friend" or "best friend?" That ruined my day and I guess the argument ruined hers as well.

I offered to not speak to her again until the end of the year because we obviously have our differences, but she refused that, saying that the idea's so stupid and there's no point to it. Still, I can't let go what she said. She tried to change it around after by saying "good school friend," but she can't go back on the original words. I don't know what to think...

Too Busy

Why is Emm always so busy? I understand that she has a lot on her plate at the moment. That much is obvious. But I mean, just to meet up and say "hi" or anything like that. Why is this so difficult? She is able to make time for those other friends of hers. What does she thinkg of me? We had a bit of an argument as she said "don't push it." What does that mean? That she's threatening to walk away from a 3-year friendship because I honestly feel that we're not as close as I had hoped? This is so confusing!

Back to the Gym

I can't believe myself. I was somehow convinced to get a membership at Extreme Fitness. It costs so much money, but I feel that I have gotten so out of shape in recent months. I have to regain the shape I had from a few years back so I can feel good about myself. Luna has a member ship here too so maybe we'll end up working out together or something!

Saddened

I still feel bummed about the whole "visions" thing. Why do I still have them? Why do I feel like I'm going to leave this world soon? I feel like I'll just be forgotten by everyone. Maybe that's how it should be. Sometimes when like this, you feel like no one is really close with you as you had originally thought and hoped.

Pictures

I've only realized that I don't have too many pictures with my friends. I have lots with the Mans on Board of course, but other than that: nothing. None with Emm, none with Luna, none with Irina, and others. That's no good. I mean, what will I use for memories? A picture's worth so much.

I asked them for pictures and they all agreed somewhat. But I wonder when I'll be able to get them. I mean, what if I don't have much time left? I still feel that my time is almost up. If I don't get these pictures, I fear that I'll have to carry regrets with me.